


Consuming Cure

by RexxieConverse



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Blood, Demon Dean Winchester, M/M, THIS DOES NOT HAVE A HAPPY ENDING SO DON'T READ IF YOU WANT A HAPPY ONE, canon AU, now that that is out of the way, season 10
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-03
Updated: 2014-07-03
Packaged: 2018-02-07 07:15:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,890
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1889820
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RexxieConverse/pseuds/RexxieConverse
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Not every cure would come to them wrapped up all neatly in a bow, Castiel knew this. He also knew that he would do anything for Dean to be <i> Dean </i> again, not the Knight of Hell currently in his place.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Consuming Cure

Castiel slowly opened the two haphazard doors leading into the old barn, the creaking and moaning of old wood and strained metal barely audible through the furious storm roaring around the old structure. Droplets steadily dripped off of the man’s well-loved trench coat, the water leaving a path in the dust as he walked across the building to the desk still standing at the far end of the vast structure. A few scraps of paper with carefully penned wards depicted on them still lay strewn across the top of the desk, adhered to the surface by the grit and grime accumulated over time. 

Cas let a small smile flit across his features, remembering the events which had occurred in his previous visit to this place. A storm as fierce as this one was also present that day, if he was recalling correctly. The lightning had proven to be excellent lighting to display his wings to the two others present that night. Castiel let yet another faint smile flash across his face, as he remembered how even his first flare of dramatics had been caused by a certain righteous man. 

He looked around at the walls and ceiling of the barn, noting that all of the sigils and warding previously placed there had been carelessly drawn over by several years of graffiti. It no longer was a place of safety, nor a opportune place for one to attempt to face an unknown creature in. 

“Pontiac, Illinois, huh? Didn't know you could be so sentimental, Cas.”

Castiel whipped around, and found himself, quite literally, face to face with the Knight of Hell known by the name of Dean Winchester. 

~  
_  
“Useless, all of it, completely useless!”_

_Sam slammed the rickety cover of the book he had been scouring, dust rising up to mingle with the feelings of rage and frustration teeming in the air around the cluttered table the younger Winchester brother was seated at._

_“Sam, we will find a way. The Men of Letters have kept up a very thorough collection, it is almost guaranteed that we will find a way to cure a Knight of Hell.”_

_Carefully closing and placing the yellowed scroll he had been reading down, Castiel raised his head to look across the table at Sam, who was now running both of his hands through his hair, ruffling it in his irritation as his fingers continued to brush the strands. The dust continued to waft around, unaffected by the tense atmosphere of the room they were inhabiting. After a few more moments of Cas glaring across the stacks of books and ancient manuscripts, Sam let out a sigh, and stopped his ruffling to pick up another sizable tome to place in front of him._

_“I..I know, it’s just- it’s just so much harder to do all of this research, when I know the monster I am researching is my brother.” Cas flinched at the use of the word monster, opened his mouth to rebuke the use of that particular term, but thought better of it, letting Sam have the opportunity to get out some of the feelings Cas knew the man had been holding in these last couple of months._

_“Yes, there have been plenty of times where I have had to figure how to get Dean out of a sticky situation that he got himself into by being, well, Dean. Like the time he couldn't help thinking some dirty thought while fight Hestia, the freaking goddess of purity, and he got stuck with a celestial strength chastity belt.”_

_Both men let out a small chuckle at the memories. Dean, raging and pacing in the motel room afterwards, yelling, “If I wanted to become a nun, I would have driven my ass down to some backwoods church and yanked on the robes myself!”. Castiel, attempting to calm the hunter down by telling him that he couldn't be a nun anyway, since he possesses the wrong genitalia to be considered for that role. Sam, fighting back hysterics at the sight of his brother (now slightly mortified that his junk had been brought into this whole thing) and the somewhat-ex-angel so he could figure out a solution with the help of his trusty laptop._

_“But this time, it’s not Dean being whammied by something. No, this time Dean IS that something. He has turned into the one thing he always vowed to wipe out, if it was the very last thing he ever did. How am I supposed to live with that? My own brother, turned into the the very thing we hunt. How?!” Cas abruptly stood, the air disturbed by his quick motion, causing several of the papers cluttering the pair’s work surface to fly off and flutter their way onto the floor._

_“You won’t live with it. You will fix it.” The blue eyes of the man seemed to blaze along with the uttering of the statement, his voice taking on a tone that no mortal would be fool enough to contradict. Sam sat frozen, shocked by the sudden emergence of the angelic nature that still was obviously present within Castiel. “We will sit here and find the cure for a Knight of Hell, and we will use that cure to its’ full effectiveness. Do you know why I am completely sure of these facts? Because I know that the two people in this room will do anything necessary to save Dean Winchester, and they will not cease until he has been. Do I make myself clear?” growled Cas, still staring down at the brother as if daring him to say anything against his statements. Sam was completely still, then slowly sank down into his chair with an audible sigh._

_“You’re right Cas, guess I’m just not thinking straight because of all….this. Better keep going, there are quite a few books left.” Opening up the tome in front of him, Sam shook his head minutely, as if to shake out any remaining negative thoughts, and began to read. Assured that his little tirade had done the trick, Castiel sat back down, picked up the scroll he had been previously studying, and resumed his work. And if no one noticed the small jitters and shakes of his hand from his repressed, still-present grief, well, that would just be Castiel’s little secret._  
  
~ 

Dean smirked at Castiel’s obvious surprise, his eyes flicking to black.  
“Heh, I guess I get to be the one sneak up behind unsuspecting hunters and scare the shit out of them, sound familiar? Ah, good times, good times.” The Knight feigned a look of saddened recollection, wiping away a non-existent tear. “Anyways, I doubt you went through all the trouble of calling me here just to talk about your past sneaky self.” Raising an eyebrow, Dean looked steadily at Castiel, who had not moved nor spoken during any of the demon’s dialogue. 

Cas ran his tongue across his chapped lips, hoping to alleviate the dry mouth he had suddenly acquired at the presence of the creature who was pretending to be his hunter. He thought he had prepared himself for this moment, the moment where he would have to face Dean when he was anything but Dean. The demon stood only a few feet away, a condescending look permanently pasted across his features. This Dean was the one who woke up from being turned from hunter to hunted, and savagely murdered the only other person in the room with him. Crowley may have been unclean denizen of Hell, but Castiel found no pleasure in his death, as it had marked the beginning of the path to the continued destruction of his friend. This is the Dean that tracked down all angels still residing on earth and tortured them to pull out the plans of Heaven’s rebuilding. This is the Dean who tore and clawed his way to the position of King of Hell, a perfect post from which to use the plans taken from Castiel’s fallen brethren to take over all planes of existence. 

His blood pumping furiously from the self-reminder of the atrocities the creature consuming Dean had done in the name of the hunter, Cas raised his chin, his face settling into the expression his Dean had called the “Ultimate Smite Smash Mode”

“Yes, I came here to make a deal with you.”

Dean appeared surprised at this statement, taking a step back to look the ex-angel up and down fully. After apparently not noticing anything glaringly obvious from the outward physical appearance, Dean began to pace circles around Cas. 

“I thought, out of all the things in existence, you would be the last one to even think about making deals with devils, after the whole slumming it with Crowley deal,” the Knight said curiously, continuing to pace circles around Cas. Castiel kept staring straight ahead, refusing to follow the gait of Dean as he circled him. “And then there is the whole fact that you don’t have a soul to sell me, not even a speck of grace is left in that vessel of yours. Man, I don’t even know what you’re still running on, you’re basically Frankenstein's monster at this point, Feathers.”

“That is where you are wrong.”

~  
__  
“Cas...CAS!”

_The man in question quickly placed the book currently in his hands down, turning his full attention to the Winchester across from him, who was currently sporting the widest smile Cas had seen on Sam’s face in years._

_“I think I may have found a cure, an actual cure!” Castiel rose and rushed over to Sam’s side at the word ‘cure’, arms gesturing vigorously for the man to continue. “So get this, a Knight of Hell can be turned back into a full human, undamaged soul and all, if it comes into contact with the combination of the sacrificed Grace from an angel and a soul of one who is completely in love. I guess, according to this book, those are the two most pure things to be found in existence. Apparently, the Grace is considered to be an essence of God himself, and a soul consumed by love is consumed by the one emotion which is, as defined here, the embodiment of all things considered right and good.”_

_Instead of the overjoyed expression (or as ecstatic as the man could ever seem to display) Sam was expecting, Cas portrayed no emotion at all, seemingly placing a blank mask over anything that could have shown itself in light of this news._

_“Dean is too intelligent to willingly let himself get near an angel’s grace, and forcing him to take it would prove almost nearly impossible.” Despite the lack of expected excitement from the sometimes angel, Sam refused for his spirits to be lowered again, grasping on to this new information he had uncovered with all he had and could muster._

_“We have a sigil that can damper and mask grace, that won’t be an issue. Finding a soul, one that also happens to be in love, is going to be the tricky bit. Don’t want to sell a soul to a demon, even if that demon happens to be Dean. We need to research ways to find a soul that we can use without damning anyone to hell, c’mon!” Sam stood and hurriedly strode over to one of the nearby bookshelves lining the vast room the table the pair had been working in, running his finger over the spines, pausing here and there to pull out books which sounded like they may contain some useful information within._

_While Sam was busying himself with his new task, Castiel continued to stand in the place where Sam had left him in favour of the shelves, his mind too busy to bother with movement as it was whirring with the makings of a reckless plan. Cas, resolving himself to the agenda his thoughts had been forming into, briskly walked over to the chair he had been sitting in all evening, lifted up the trench coat he had strewn over the back, and proceeded to put it on hastily. Noticing the sudden movements out of the corner of his eye, Sam turned away from the rows of books to see Castiel heading for the bunker exit._

_“Um, Cas, where are you going? Don’t we have some soul searching to do?” Cas paused in the middle of the flight of stairs leading to the door._

_“I was going to go and see if I could confer with my brothers and sisters regarding the issue with a soul. They would most likely be very eager to offer their assistance, as taking the demon version of Dean out of the picture would prove greatly beneficial to them, since Dean would no longer be a hindrance to the rebuilding of Heaven. Well, he would turn back into the level of hindrance they could tolerate, that is.”_

_Sam looked a bit less suspicious, but did not seem to be fully assuaged._

_“Just, be sure not to do anything stupid, alright? Dean won’t forgive me if I let you get into anymore trouble.”_

_Looking a bit surprised at Sam’s assumption that Dean would care if anything happened to him, Cas slowly nodded._

_“I will be back soon. Good luck, Sam.”_

_Castiel knew that his improved skills in the areas of deceit would prove to be useful one day._  
  
~

Dean paused in his pacing, turning his head slightly to look at Cas’ face. 

“In case you didn’t get the memo, I kind of have super powerful demonic powers now. You know what these powers can do? Sense angelic grace. And right now? My spidey-sense are not at all tingly, not even a bit.”

Castiel turned fully towards Dean so that they were looking at each other eye to eye once more, obsidian black to stormy blue. They were only a few feet away from each other, one more step forward by either of them would cause their shoes to touch. 

“You are right about my grace, it has been completely depleted,” Cas surreptitiously pulled at the hem of his coat, trying not to itch at the masking sigil he had carved on his chest earlier. Dean was too busy studying Cas’ face, as if trying to figure out a particularly difficult puzzle, to notice the other man’s slight slip. “But I do have a soul to sell.”

The knight said nothing for a moment, then said slowly, “You’re right, there is a glowing orb in you, just not of the angelic kind. You went full human, how did you manage that one?”

“When Metatron stole my grace, he did not realize that the absence of the grace combined with my...sentiments towards humanity would result in the growth of a soul. I have had one every since I was forced out of Heaven by the scribe, but did not want to share that with you and Sam because I feared you would think I was useless because of my new found proclivity towards a human nature, and not an angelic one.”

Dean snorted at this, his smug grin twisting into a crooked leer. 

“Cas, you have always been pretty useless. Causing nothing but more trouble for Sam and I; causing the apocalypse, making deals with slimy little fuckers, dropping all the angels on this rock. You have done nothing but mess up. I only let you stay around ‘cause I knew it would break little ol’ Sammy’s heart, to lose his one friend,” The demon starting chuckling, his leer morphing into something utterly animalistic, an expression one would expect on a wild, rabid animal, not a man. “But now, I couldn't give any less fucks about what happens to either of you. So yeah, you are useless Cas, and you always have been.”

The tears that had not made an appearance since the night of Dean’s “death” threatened to spill over again. Castiel blinked quickly, not wanting to give this...thing any satisfaction of twisting Dean’s words to hurt him, he wouldn't. If anything, Cas now had the definite proof that this was not Dean, for the man would have never spoken of his brother in that manner. Castiel already knew that Dean did not care for the now human man to any great extent, so to hear him speak of Cas in that manner was not a great surprise. 

“Sam is actually why I am here.”

Dean titled his head to the side, mocking the mannerism the hunter had previously pointed out to the ex-angel plenty of times. 

“Oh, really? Do share with the class.”

Castiel curled his fingers into fists, stealing himself for the lie he was about to tell.

“Sam...in order to cure you, he re-started the trials. He was planning on attempting to cure you with his blood like you were a regular demon. Sam had to do the previous steps again, but because his body is too heavily damaged from his previous experiences with the trials, he is too close to death already.” Castiel feigned a look of utter sorrow, which was not a hardship to do in any form at that moment. “I wish to sell my soul so that he would be completely healed, and that, with your control over my soul, I could be your spy on the rebuilding of Heaven.”

The Knight simply looked at Cas, the animalistic smile still marring his face. He took a step closer, his breath now intermingling with Cas’. The storm outside began to die down, only the soft pattering of raindrops could now be heard tapping on the remains of the ceiling. 

“Well Cas, it sounds like you finally found a way to be useful after all.”

Castiel listened as the last of the raindrops fell, leaving only an eerie silence in their absence. He stared right back into Dean’s eyes, still unnerved by the absence of the forest green he usually found there. Dean dropped his gaze down towards Cas’ lips, and flicked right back up again.

“So, ready to seal the deal, baby blues?” Dean smirked, leaning ever so slightly forward. 

“I believe this is the point where we ‘suck face’, yes”

The demon laughed, still continuing to lean forward. 

“Remind me to thank that winged dick for your pop culture know-how when we bust into the upstairs”

Castiel was sick of this mocking, of the continual reminders of the fact that this was not the Dean he was friends with- no, the person he was in love with, and had been, for years upon years. He grabbed the back of the demon’s neck and yanked him down, meeting his mouth with none of the gentleness he had wished for in his first kiss with his righteous man. But this was not his righteous man, so Cas did not kiss him as such. The Knight seem to agree with him, in the way he matched Cas’ clashing of teeth against his own. Dean parted Cas’ lips unceremoniously with his own, invading the angel with his tongue, tasting every inch he could get to. He felt Cas try to push back with his own tongue, attempting to take back control of the situation, but Dean wouldn’t let him, dominating him at every possible turn. 

Dean finally started to feel the tingling feeling of a soul entering him- but something was wrong, very wrong. It wasn’t just soul feeding into Dean, he was getting a soul and- how did he not notice?- an angel’s grace, combined into one. 

“Y--you lying bastard!” the Knight of Hell screamed as every part of his body started to glow with an ethereal blue aura. 

Castiel, who was now kneeling on the ground, looked up and smiled, not a shell of one, a real smile. 

“I did learn from the best,” Cas lowered himself to the ground even more, laying on his side as blood started to trickle out of the corner of his mouth. “Now, come back to me, Dean.”

The demon opened it’s mouth, but whatever reply that it had coming was lost amidst the screams of the creature as the blue light seemed to flare to life within, burning all traces of hellish creation in its’ wake. 

~

Sam bust through the barn doors, his phone, still open to the GPS tracking window for Castiel’s cellphone, clenched in his hand. He looked around quickly, his head swiveling to and fro as to attempt to find either or both of the two people he was searching for. Sam’s swiveling stopped abruptly when he spotted- no, could it actually be?- his brother, Dean Winchester, kneeling amidst the dust on the ground. It was certainly his brother, and not the demon by the same name, for that creature was not capable of that level of grief displayed across his- wait, why was he so distraught? He was finally human again, surely he didn’t miss being a demon? Then again, Dean only showed that level of grief when someone had died, and even then, usually it was not as strong as Dean was currently displaying. Sam started to walk over, intending to give his brother the normal Winchester “You’re back from the dead, congrats!” hug. He then noticed that someone was beside Dean, his head placed on Dean’s lap. Sam stopped where he stood, a few feet away from the pair. His phone dropped out of his hand and fell to the floor, shattering into multiple pieces as it made contact. 

“No.”

~

Dean slowly began to come to, visions of black and blue swirling with the dirt getting in his eyes from laying face first on the floor of the barn. He ached everywhere, his arms, legs, chest, all feeling like they had been through a hunting marathon, where he had had no chance to rest because a pesky spirit decided he couldn’t wait for Dean to get some shut-eye for a couple hours. Funny though, Dean didn’t remember going on a hunt recently, he remembered visiting the old barn in Pontiac and Cas selling him his soul- Cas! 

The hunter shot up off the floor, his muscles crying out in protest from the sudden movements. Dean looked around wildly, looking for the splash of tan he knew he would find somewhere. And there, only a few feet away, laid Castiel, his Cas, who had given up literally everything to save Dean yet again. 

Dean sprinted over to the man on the ground, ignoring the way his body was threatening to buckle at all of the actions the Winchester was forcing it to go through. 

“Cas, Cas buddy, wake up. Hey, look, I’m not a demon anymore, you did that.” Dean grabbed the man, who was barely conscious, by both shoulders, lifting his torso so that Dean could slide his legs underneath and place Cas’ head on his lap. In any other circumstances, the hunter would have been whining about how girly this whole situation was, but the amount of blood seeping out between Cas’ lips scared away any other wise-cracking thought that could have entered his mind. 

Cas slowly turned his head towards Dean, his chest heaving from the exertion that even that smallest of actions caused him. 

“H-hello, Dean,” Castiel murmured, his lips twitching upwards when Dean’s eyes met with his. “I really missed that green.” Dean chuckled wetly, tears having already sprung from his eyes and starting to fall down his cheeks. 

“Don’t tell me you have gone all soft on me, and that you are going to start reciting poetry about my freckles or some weird shit like that.” Cas rolled his eyes weakly, and attempted to laugh. The laugh got caught in his throat, however, and Cas began to cough violently, blood splattering all over Cas’ trench coat and Dean’s leather jacket. Dean automatically placed a hand on Cas’ head and started running it through his hair comfortingly, trying his best not to let the other man feel how hard he was shaking. 

“Take it easy there, don’t cause anymore damage. I’m gunna call Sam and we will get you some help, don’t worry” Dean said as he continued to stroke Cas’ hair, trying to do anything, anything but notice the amount of blood that was now seeping out of both Castiel’s nose and mouth. Cas just looked back up at Dean, attempting to memorize every image the man’s freckles mapped out, every last fleck of bronze that littered his eyes, the exact shade of blonde his hair was. 

“Dean, I’m dying, and nothing can stop that.” The hunter flinched, then growled,

“Shut up, you stupid sonuvabitch, no one is dying. I’m calling Sam, and then we are going to get you fixed up.” Dean started to pull Cas’ cellphone out of the inside trench pocket with the hand that was not in the man’s hair, but a light touch to his wrist caused him to pause. 

“There is nothing that can fix me now. The soul I had was the only thing keeping me alive, the only thing curbing the damage that the stolen grace was doing to me. With that gone, I now have nothing to save me.” Cas rubbed his thumb along Dean’s wrist as he said this, as if attempting to lessen the blow the words would have with soft touches. The effort of keeping his arm up was starting to show, Castiel’s arm shuddering with the strain of keeping his hand on Dean’s wrist. Dean was frozen, refusing to process what had just been said. 

“Why the hell would you give me your soul, if that was the only thing keeping you up and running?! What were you fucking thinking?!” 

Castiel cringed at the harshness of Dean’s tone, dropping his arm back down to his side. Dean missed the small caresses, and he was sure his face showed it, but Cas’ eyes were now unable to focus on anything as detailed as a facial expression. 

“You said so yourself earlier, I am not useful, but am more of a burden. This is my way of finally being of some use.”

The hunter was stock still for a moment, then slowly moved both of his hands towards Cas’, picking them up and bringing them up to the former angel’s chest. He intertwined his fingers with Castiel’s, hoping he could show with this touches as well as his words how wrong Cas was. 

“Don’t you ever, ever, say you are useless again. Those words I said earlier? Those were demon me’s. I was trying to break you with lies, and you better believe they are lies.” He squeezed their interlaced hands, seeing as he looked down Cas looking back, a dim hope starting to appear behind his now glassy eyes. 

“All those things, they were the furthest thing from the truth. Cas, you are one of the most important people in my life. In fact, you are one of the most important people I have ever met. You have saved all of our asses over and over again, even if we- ok, if I- treated you like shit afterwards. For some weird reason, you decided to stick with me through everything that went down. And I want you to continue to be there, no, I need you to be there. In fact, you are required to be there. Why? Because, along the crazy road of shit that is our lives, you made me fall in love with you.” Dean hadn’t meant to full out confess to Cas, but it had just come out along with all of the other things he was trying to say. His eyes flitted back down to Cas’, who was staring wide-eyed up at him. 

“I- uh- you can forget I just said that, I know you don’t feel that way-” Dean began to fluster, before the two hands that were in his own freed themselves, were placed on either side of Dean’s cheeks, and held him still as Cas pulled himself up to place his lips on Dean’s, taking his rightful perfect first kiss from Dean that he had previously imagined. Cas barely pushed at all, his lips almost more like a gentle breath. Dean slowly closed his eyes, pulling his arms up to place behind Cas’ head to hold him steady. As quick as it had started, Cas pulled away, coughing and spluttering. Cas’ blood was smeared across Dean’s lips, which, when Dean noticed it, was the fact that caused him to come back to reality. 

“Cas, breathe! Just breathe!” Panicking now, as Cas’ breathing was becoming increasingly laboured, he laid Cas back on his lap, his hands flitting all around in an attempt to figure out how to utilize them. Cas opened his mouth, more and more blood pouring out and pooling on Dean’s jeans and jacket as he attempted to speak. Dean hastily pulled his head down, his right ear now directly above his Cas’ lips. Cas whispered something into his lover’s ear, and Dean promptly began to sob in earnest, his words bringing back echoes of the past, the past which had been formed in this very place.

“Dean Winchester, you deserved to be saved.” 

Castiel took one final look at the two forest green eyes above him, gave a last, gurgling breath, and left the forest behind, the storm behind the blue no more.


End file.
